Sunday, May 2, 2010

Perfect Start

Long night, short sleep, early wake up. A summary of the past 12 hours. I don't remember how I ended in this seat, still hazy. She walked up with a cup of steaming coffee and a cold glass of premium grade h2o. Perfect!
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Saturday, April 3, 2010

No Mas

I watched her wave her hands in the air, a brush stroke of surrender. Yet not surprised as she picked up her fork & continued to graze at her meal.
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Sunday, March 7, 2010

Magic & Bird

"We never tried to change each other"- how Magic described the magic of his relationship with Bird. This is the same relationship that motivated each other to personal greatness. How often can we say that regarding those around our own life?
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Thursday, December 31, 2009

Another appointment

Another appointment, another disappointment.

Another doctor (this time it's for Stanlee), another reminder call for a 9:30 visit, another perfect prep process, and an arrival time of 9:29.

Here we wait. 20 minutes past schedule. No emergency bump nor short staff. Why do I even try to commit to appointment times?
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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Keeping Appointments

We have all see this on Seinfeld*, well maybe not everyone and I am specifically thinking of my doctor.

Last week I made an 8:00 Wednesday appointment to see my doctor. At that time he added me to his appointment book (witnessed by me) and even provided me a reminder card. This card was kept in plain view for a week in my car, nothing was keeping me from this appointment. Can you imagine where this is headed???

Tuesday morning I received a reminder phone from his office, I assured her that I would make my appointment time. My alarm clock was set for 7:00 am, just enough time to walk the dog, read the morning headlines, shower, and out the door by 7:53. The 5 minute driving time which includes the 1 possible red light would give me a 2 minute wait at the office.

Just as I planned, my entrance gave me 2 minutes to scan the month old magazines in the waiting room. My arrival was perfect, yet it appears my doctor had other plans.

When his head shot out into the waiting room requesting a few minutes I would be lying if I told you that surprised was not my immediate reaction. Secretly I was annoyed and wondering how long I would be asked to extend my patience. Overhearing his exam room interrogation revealed that he just started the process and that this appointment was nowhere near an emergency status. She better be real cute!!! (RG if you're reading this you know what I mean).

It was frustrating that as much as I planned for the perfect arrival there was a deflated feeling that the appointment at 8:00 fell short. As for the morning process there was nothing I could have done differently. Perhaps I could have called him before I left to remind him of my appointment time. Perhaps I could select another doctor.

He eventually did see me and routinely made another appointment including calendar addition and appointment card. I have one week to rethink the process.

*Seinfeld addressed reservations not appointments, I get that.
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Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Warranty expired

After 40 the reality that your body's warranty expired becomes a reality. My visit with a Podiatrist provided this morning's wake-up call. Last Monday a new pain developed in the heel of my foot. Each morning and each step shot a pulsing pain up from my left heel. Great...a new Today provided an explanation of my new discomfort; the stretching, pulling, and repair of my tendon was a new heel spur. Warranty expires & like clockwork maintaining the status quo now requires a series of steroid injections and a molded insert for my shoes. The first forty years of my life provided little preparation for the next set of forty. Perhaps I can blame this on my parents. What's next?!
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Sunday, November 29, 2009


As I took the first bite of my second slice did I notice the date. Four days after the Better Sell By date. Even though I realize this is not an expiration date, this kinda freaked me out. I did not add any more to my slice. Hate the dates!!
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Tuesday, November 3, 2009


Wow, can you believe that I am in bed @ 9:40 pm? Teeth brushed, dog walked, and lights are out. To think I actually needed a bedtime when I was younger. If I only knew then...I would have invested more hours catching Zzzzzzzzzzz.

Goodnite Moon
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Monday, October 12, 2009

Management at their best

I came home the other day to this discovery. WTF? Btw, the "F" stands for frick- lol!!

Here is the email I shot off to our management company and the board. Did I miss anything??

Regarding the new garbage area, what was the reason for the brilliant idea to place a communal garbage area right off the main road? This is quick thinking!! With property assessments low and condo selling a mile between contracts, this is a great way to showcase our community at its best. Bravo!

Obviously there was a garbage problem with a few residents and effective problem solving skills has moved a solution that dealt with the root cause and turned this into a community celebration. Pure genius!! Management of this community should be honored for upholding a high standard of quality living.

I always wanted to know how the other side lived. Now I do,... the trailer side.
Thanks, always looking to improve the quality at the Parc,
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Saturday, October 3, 2009


Football players on Saturdays bring families together. Parents celebrate. Siblings celebrate. Community celebrates.
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Saturday, September 19, 2009

Name My Price

Progressive’s “Name Your Price” commercial is so annoying …I love it. Flo, wonderfully played by Stephanie Courtney, is driving me crazy (pun intended). This car insurance company has one of the best marketing strategies I have seen in years. How often do you see a commercial that offers full customer control? For decades we are faced with whether to buy it or leave it. Now here comes Progressive saying can you buy insurance and you can name your price. Hmmmm…just how much coverage can I get for $60? If all I want to pay is $5.00 a month, then I guarantee you that you will get no more than 5% coverage.

What would that look like if my other favorite places offered the same deal? If Mario’s Pizza let me name my price, just how much can I get for $.50? Can Mobil let me fill my tank for $5.00? Can Best Buy let me name my price for a TV? Perhaps, yet would I be walking out satisfied?

Monday, September 7, 2009

Changes and the Familiar

Even with a nasty cold this morning, the desire to have a hot breakfast led me to the bagel diner around the corner. The usual crowd was 40ish age set the average down by 30 years. Harriet & her nurse jointly shared a platter and the "club" discussing grandchildren.

For the first time I noticed members of the breakfast bunch on their cell phones- not too unusual yet this is a senior crowd. No texting...yet, this too will come. Even my parents are starting to text. When I settled in my chair the conversation at the next table cleared of static. Facebook and reunions were being discussed. How his daughter attended a get together with friends she has not seen in 30 years. While the bagel bunch was familiar with the website, they have yet to find a use. Then as usual the conversation turned to ulcers and the Dolphins. Go fins!!
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Saturday, September 5, 2009


The end of the 3rd quarter , the 12th man on the field shed its shadow. Rumblings of Orange…Blue…Orange..Blue.

When #12 is needed the most...the time when the 2nd and 3rd stringers need to be reminded that the pain is worth the effort, that Gainesville is more than a place, that Florida Field just is, and that each player needs to be reminded “What it’s like to be a Florida Gator”.

Now…for the boys of old florida

Go Gators!


This is the land of Ricola! A few tabs with hot tea, hunny, and Jack Daniels will end this discomfort.
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Sunday, August 30, 2009


This appears to be a message left by the tree.
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Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Our Evening Walk

I walk outside and the first thing I notice is that I left my super sized umbrella at work. A brief inventory of the one I have in the closet and the extra in my car tells me it’s okay to continue, yet I leave them both behind. There is a strong stillness in the trees and a grey covering above. Stanlee and I continue around the corner and as he tracks the scent of the neighbors, a drop lands near his feet. Just how much time do we have? While looking around for other drops, the stillness in the air shifts into a breeze building into a concert of rustling leaves. We retreat and track back without stopping. A few yards from my building, a drop lands on my shoulder, another on my feet. We speed up. The wall of water falls just as we break under cover. Whew! He get two treats : )

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Something old and something new

As I have left my district position in professional development and returned to the classroom I have spent some time this summer on preparing for my 3rd grade class. I was eager to revisit my old favorites...our class constitution, poetry after lunch, musical moods, socratic seminars, text connections and of course the technology.
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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

11:00 News

When I was younger, young enough to have a bedtime, I remember my father staying up to watch the local news at 11:00. Well, here I am, stretched out reclining on my sofa watching the daily updates. It's just after 11 and I feel like I am looking into a mirror of the past.

Yet, not all is the same. I feel like this is more like the Bizzaro version. The on-demand, just in time online news service has replaced my local and cable news feed. The way of my parents has lost my interest. While things change they also improve. John Stewart and his team have managed to bring a well balanced comedic taste that revives the depleting spirit of global and national events. I was laughing so loud Stanlee walked out into the other room to get some sleep. Hey, if it wasn't for laughter I would be writing about tears.
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Sunday, July 12, 2009

The wrestling industry knows how to develop talent

Growing up I watched World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) for mindless pleasure in the back and forth battles between good and evil wrestlers. Now my interest is with the backstage news and politics that developed talent that transformed a local promotion into a global business.

As reported from Ewrestling News the experienced wrestlers (Edge, Chris Jericho, Rey Mysterio) are working really hard with the newbies in the business (John Morrison, Dolph Ziggler, Mike Knox). These newbies are being viewed as potential Superstars a change “to the veteran mentality in the past where the opinion of newer talent was that they haven't paid their dues or are missing something important to become a star.”

The relationship between the two groups is grounded in the common goal to provide the customers with a quality product. The mentoring relationship is critical to this success and that of each individual and of the organization. What drives the Superstar to mentor is the recognition of being a locker room leader and is rewarded with television airtime and pay per view opportunities. What is unique in WWE is that worth ethic is evaluated by how well you make your opponent look good during a performance. Can you imagine if our educators were evaluated with the same criteria? This connection will have me looking for similar relationships with our classroom teachers. Just what is the veteran mentality? What will inspire competent and qualified teachers to mentor? Are new educators viewed as potential superstars? Does the success of the team outweigh the success of the individual?

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The MJ Memorial

At the conclusion of the Michael Jackson memorial, CNN’s camera focused on a teenage girl shedding tears. Strangely, this single image refreshed a memory of an interview with Tim Burton. Tim mentioned how he enjoys watching movies on cable (at the time satellite was not a common option) and how this experience connects him to other viewers watching the same movie. As he got lost in Vincent Price he knew others around the county were with him on this magic movie experience. As he jumped he knew others jumped too. Watching this girl weeping you knew others were weeping too. Quite a remarkable event.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

If I go out

There are a few mornings when the idea of making my own breakfast is not an option. Usually the previous night's activities dictate my morning outcome. While a Denny's and local nook fan in the past, Ihop has taken a promising lead. What sets Ihop apart from the rest is not the quality of the scrambled eggs or their fluffy pancakes, it is the placemat that has become the deciding factor.

Perhaps its the "Monk" in me, yet it seems that I find it quite difficult to eat from utensils just lying on the table. I understand there are many places for germ contamination, however this is one that is right in my face. As soon as the food arrives the plate is a great resting place for my fork and knife, but where the heck do I place my spoon? I have been seen palacing my coffee spoon on well stacked empty Equal packets, yet this paper alter usually doesn't last the duration of the meal and sacrificing the corner of the napkin is not an option. The "clean" paper placemat while probably not a Green option is providing a distraction and a false security that I can appreciate.

Besides at Ihop there is no wait for that coffee refill (on #4 now)- a win anywhere witht this type of morning.

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Saturday, June 13, 2009


A week ago there were 10 baby ducks. Now half are gone. Where are they and why do I think the worst? BTW-I did not have math problems like this in school!
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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Gimme Shelter

While waiting for the red light to change, this storm moved across my view. The race to get home and walk the Stan officially began!
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Saturday, May 23, 2009

Half sour & dill

Being greeted with a plate of half sour/dill pickles with green tomatoes is one of the few pleasures I can still find at my local deli 'rant, the Pastrami Club. Usually around Wednesday I get the pickle itch. Once I start to scratch the only relief in sight is to give in, hands up in surrender and ask for a booth. Before the waitress can even greet me, satisfaction arrives and the itching stops. The assortment is a sodium nightmare, yet quite a tasty delight. As soon as the plate hits the table, I slice & dice like Edward Sissorhands in a beauty parlor even finishing before the meal arrives. There have been times when after canabalizing the plate and the carnage ends, I ended up taking my entire lunch back home to go. I walk away happy knowing there will be more pickles another day.
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Sunday, May 17, 2009

3 a.m. Snack

Can we agree that at 3 in the morning everything tastes good on a bagel? It was empty the fridge nite when making these. Can you name the ingredients?
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Sunday, May 10, 2009

The Perfect Pickup

The alignment of time and space when arriving at an airport to welcome out of town guests is viewed by many as the Perfect Pickup. I guess if I were writing this when I was younger you would be reading about how to grab a girl’s attention. Nonetheless this is about experiencing zero wait time upon arrival. For years I was able to call the airline and check on the status of the flight yet once I left the house any changes in status would only be discovered after aimlessly circling the airport. While my cell phone informed me of changes and web access provided real time adjustments, the perfect pickup is not always guaranteed.

The other night I had the opportunity to experience such an event. I planned accordingly using all necessary tools to facilitate the alignment. My cousin informed me that his bags were carry-on and he would meet me outside immediately after landing. Everything was looking great, traffic was light, no unexpected surprises, and the plane was on time. As I approached the off-ramp from the interstate to the airport entrance my cousin called, this was too good to be true. This was the phone call I was expecting all night. The one that was going to tell me he arrived. This was the phone call telling me that he is headed for the arrival area. No delays, no unexpected surprises, and the plane arrived on time. The perfect pickup was in sight.

I answered and I heard what I wanted to hear…almost. He arrived safely (a good thing), yet his bags were checked in at the airport. The perfect pickup escaped by the delay of waiting for baggage claim. The perfect pickup was once again just a fantasy, yet having spent the last few days with family; I realized I had the exceptional pickup.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Finished before 41

And I have over two weeks to spare. Today is graduation and if I was in Phoenix, Arizona right now I would be walking to receive my degree. I just read that some universities are eliminating the customary handshake, yet what I find disturbing is that the shake was not replaced by the "fist pump". Hey, if it's good enough for the President...that's all I have to say about that. (Insert a fist pump here!)

I'm not sure what happens next. I did not always aspire to have a Master's degree or to be bothered by the course work. Hoops should be a game played on the court, not in the classroom. Yet despite the hoops, I did enjoy the challenge of reading, writing, and debating with my classmates. I'm going to spend the next few days decompressing and wondering what to do with this new piece of paper.
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Thursday, April 9, 2009

New family member

I think I spent the last few days preparing a nursery for a new member of the family. Now I am not talking about a new baby boy or girl, but a new television. Before you make judgment on the comparison, consider how I spent the last few days.

1) Shop for the right make and model. Some folks are still old fashioned and just accept with what they have and there is nothing wrong with that. However, there is a group of parents who actually place an order with a little help from DNA science. My process was not that costly, yet highly involved. Between reading cnet and consumer report reviews and product observation, this process was almost a full time job.

2) Remove old furniture. I actually placed the old TV and stand in the bedroom. This displacement is what a first born might feel before the arrival of the second child.  Say goodbye to the office and hello to the nursery.

3) Clean up the area and surrounding furniture. This is close to #2, yet the focus is on cleanliness not just changing of the furniture. The new TV must enter a sterile environment.

4) The waiting. Once you have made the selection is juts a matter of waiting for arrival. Some arrival dates/ times are specific while others provide a "window".

5) Arrival. Upon arrival the feeling of relief turns to concern. As a new owner, one must know the proper care and maintenance to promote health and wellness. Yes, we are still talking about a television.

6) Celebration. Invite friends and family to meet, greet, and enjoy the company of the new arrival. Bringing snacks in hand is welcomed and encouraged.
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Sunday, March 22, 2009


I had a cravin for McFries. Instead of sending you the pic of this tasty treat, I'll share you the plate of the vehicle that almost hit the side of my car. Having worked at McDs, I can honestly say that there is nothing on the menu worthy of an accident. Well...maybe the chocolate shake w/ fries. Mmmmmm...fries!

On another note, keep an eye out for McIdiots.
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Dealing with stress

While thousands of people spend millions of dollars learning to deal with stress, I stand behind the good 'ol fashion ice cream sundae. I don't need a lecture on how this is ignoring the issue or avoiding the root cause, I just don't care. What I do know is that what is causing my stress is relative (not relatives) and I will probably find a common sense solution in a matter of days. With that being said, let me find some immediate comfort and please pass the cherries.
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Thursday, March 12, 2009

h2o problem?

It's been over a month since "The Flood" and while I sit here and wait for my insurance check I thought it would be a good idea to share some basic first steps to get through a h2o crisis.

As you approach your house and discover there is a water leak there are a few steps I recommend for you to take into consideration. This will get you through the first hour.

The following takes place between 2:00 and 3:00 p.m. (insert ticking sound effect from 24) tick, tick, tick...
Step 1. As you notice water flowing from under your front door and filling the driveway- Don't Freak Out!

Step 2. Turn off the main water valve.

Step 3. Open the front door and as the water pours over your feet- Don't Freak Out!

Step 4. Swim to the back of the house and open all available doors. For me I had two sliding glass doors to open. Water should also begin to move out from this area.

Step 5. Comfort your wet dog, who doesn't have a clue to what just happened. His presence assures you that the water is not dangerous. Message to self: wall mount everything, especially electric strips.

Step 6. Don't Freak Out!

Step 7. Call your insurance company. If this occurres after work hours call a water removal service. Explain the situation to your insurance agent. I was fortunate enough to have them send the water removal company.

Step 8. Your priority at this time is to remove the water and take pictures of everything.

Step 9. Wait for water removal company.

Step 10. Don't Freak Out!

Step 11. Call plumber to fix the leak. Until the damage is fixed, your house has no water. No water = No toilet!

Step 12. Comfort your wet dog- provide treat for distraction.

Step 13. Don't Freak Out!

Step 14. Look for your old presciption of xanax. Don't take any yet, but you will need it later.

Step 15. Look around the room, yes it's depressing, however youi notice the flood has drowned all of your dust bunnies. Yippee!!!

Step 16. Keep calling the insurance agent. He/she needs to recognize the sounds of urgency in your voice. Have them call the water removal service again. If you the agent over, you'll get faster service.

That's about it for the first hour. I don't remember much after that...see Step 14!!
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Sunday, March 8, 2009


The process of recovery has begun. Yesterday I picked out the tile for my bedrooms and hallway. Installation begins in one week and fortunately that is all the time I have available to spend. For the next seven days I need to prepare by moving all that is moveable (key definition is breakable) into a secure part of the house. I cannot think of a better to evaluate the amount and/or value of crap I have accumulated over the years. Wish me luck!
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Tuesday, February 24, 2009

February- part deux

I am soooo getting a second opinion!!!

PS- Loos good and all will be ok. Yeah!!!!
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February needs to end NOW!

Let me just express how pleased I am that there are only 28 days in February, this has not been a good month.  What started as peaceful has been snowballing into issues of annoyance and stress.  I'm hesitant to gripe since no one has died, however being sick is now in the cards. First there was Stanlee with his exploding tail issue, which was quickly followed by the car rubbing problem ant Publix. Thank you to the driver who hit and left the car for my discovery, fortunately one good thing came out of having my car repaired and painted- the body shop did an amazing job of cleaning the exterior. These two events were the prequel to my house being flooded…please keep in mind that this is all within 7 days. 

Comfort came from friends who assured me that "things come in 3s" and I am all done with my problems. Well…another issue arrived this past week that has a direct relationship to the first three problems. Due to the stress and anxiety of the past week, I decided to take out my frustration in the bedroom. Let's just say (in trying to keep this blog PG13) that you can actually cause trauma to your body, specifically below the waist, when activity becomes a little rough. As a result I found myself thinking I needed surgery all weekend long and headed to the urologist first thing Monday morning. He confirmed that my damage was not infected and did not require medical treatment other than rest and to maintain a HIGH level of water intake.

Currently I am not allowed any extra-curricular activities, which are fine since I am headed to the bathroom every 10 minutes! When does March arrive????
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Sunday, February 15, 2009

Cure for stress

Take as needed. 'Nuff said!
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Saturday, February 14, 2009

Observation: What does it say? What can it mean?

I decided to leave Ground Zero (this is what I am now calling my. home until it becomes functional again) and head out for breakfast. While I was waiting for my meal, I could not help but overhear the conversation behind me.

Sitting in the booth was an elderly man, not quite AARP, but well over mid-life. This is what I was able to hear(W=waitress, C=customer):

W: Coffee?
C: No coffee, just water with lemon.
C: What happened to the All American Slam for $4.00
W: We changed the menu, but you can create your own slam.
C: What do you recommend on the senior menu that has the most food for the price?
(I was unable to hear her full response)
W: Biscuit or toast
C: What kind of biscuit
W: We only have one kind.
C: I'll take the biscuit, looks bigger

The rest of his time which I observed was his attempt to schedule house viewing. Broker?

From my observation, can I determine what does it say or what can it mean?
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Saturday, February 7, 2009

One step at a time

I’ve been spending a considerable amount of time contemplating the relationship between planning and reaching goals. My obsession started with the excessive “coach speak” during the NCAA football season. While each coach had aspirations and goals to improve their rankings and receive a bowl berth, they effective coaches maintained their immediate focus not on the future in January, but on the next game. So I began to wonder, when it comes to planning how close to the point of action is necessary for success? Or was my question, does planning too far in advance increase your chances on missing your goals. I wasn’t sure, but I do know that the successful coaches didn’t prepare for the games two weeks away but planned for the next week. Yet is that close enough? Did they plan for each day of the week or just the next practice session? Perhaps after the Saturday game and watching the game film, they planned for Sunday, and took each day one day at a time.

Ok, now why is this a pressing issue? Well…this past Monday I came home to a house ankle deep in water from corner to corner. I am not sure what was more shocking: seeing water flowing out my front door or seeing Stanlee paddling through the water in the living room. I am not prepared to discuss the volume of damage other than living displaced is causing an undesirable amount of stress. That said, I am preoccupied with the though of my long-term goal of life back to normal. Yet I get lost when it comes to planning how to get there. If I get too far ahead in my plans I get consumed with anxiety. Only when I focus on the closest act to me is where I find serenity. Perhaps that too, as it has for the coaches mentioned above will lead me to success.

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Thursday, January 29, 2009

Treating an infant

The whinning. The crying. The shaking. The lack of eating. The lack of pottty time. The sad looks. The tears. The cuddle.

What is a dad to do when his baby is sick and unable to tell you what's wrong? Sunday night I noticed his routine was a bit off and I did not pay too much attention to this; he came from spending 5 days with his grandparents and I thought this was just a natural transition or at least it was not uncommon to avoid food for a while.

The next morning, I noticed excessive licking of the tail and a closer look showed an unusually large growth spotting blood. We ran to vet and they identified an infected ruptured growth--yuck. I didn't have a free hand to take that picture. Well, two plus hours later he had surgery to remove the growth and patch up what is left of his tail.

For the past two days (going on 3) I have been monitoring his rest (quite little), food intake (practically none), tail swelling (seems ok), tail licking (24/7), and bowel movements (which stopped altogether). My sleep schedule had been replaced with watching him. I fear that if not monitored properly he can lose his tail.

I repackaged his bandage and now I wait for the lab tests.

Any suggestions on how to find balance would be welcomed & appreciated. Thanks

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Friday, January 23, 2009

Be careful what you ask for

The previous vodka sour was provided without a cherry, yet plenty of stem. This is what happens when you bring this to your bartender's attention.
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Sunday, January 4, 2009

No down time?

With lights still adorning homes, trees still in the living rooms and wax buildup on the menorah, can someone please explain to me why the rush for Valentines Day, I personally like to call it V-D. Is Hallmark in such a need to reinforce the love and caring to each other in a way that the holiday spirit simply missed?

It is just easier to find a card that shares the same sentiment that you wished you had the ability and creativity to compose? Chances are you do, yet there is little money to be made for hand made cards with personal verse of poetry. That is of course you were raised in Florida and is quite comfortable with formula writing.
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Thursday, December 25, 2008

Xmas gift

This is the best gift ever. Nothing beats homemade pizza. It's the only time you are guaranteed to eat what you order. Why a christmas gift? It's christmas, silly!
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Friday, December 12, 2008

What is with the signs????

Someone where I work believes that this sign will actually get people to flush! I just not sure about this. Were people actually walking away from the stall oblivious to their mess until this was posted. The image of a choir singing, sunlight beaming, and angels dancing at the point of enlightenment is just too much for me.

This not the first time I've encountered signage overload. If the answer lies in a sign not only will I open a sign store, but I'm off to tattoo "stop the insanity" on my forehead.

By the way, my psych professor shared that folks who are messy usually don't wipe well either. Yep, you're glad I shared that with 'ya.
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Sunday, December 7, 2008

Holiday Cheer

A hanukkah gift arrived early this week. Well maybe this is more like blessings.

My barber shop is not closing (at this point you can imagine me trying my best Snoopy Dance impersonation). If u remember or if you just read my earlier post, Harry was to shut his doors for the last time just before Thanksgiving. He told me he approached the owner of the shopping center and renegotiated a 5 year lease at a lower rate. It appears Harry played the right hand and this owner did not need another empty storefront (currently there are 6). With a 5 year lease my haircuts are secure. At my rate I do not anticipate needing him after 2013.
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Thursday, November 20, 2008

Disappearing Shampoo

I want to believe that Carmen Electra comes over to my house everyday and washes her hair. Now the only proof I have is found in this picture. These two bottles are bought at the same time, opened at the same time, and used at the same time. Even the same quarter size drop of shampoo or conditioner makes it into in the palm of my hand. And quite honestly, I do not follow the repeat process with the shampoo, once is definitely enough for my scalp. Yet just look at these bottles. The shampoo is disappearing at a faster rate. I am thinking of setting up one of those Nanny Cams in my bathroom to catch Carmen in the act. My plan does not get much farther than that. I am open to suggestions. : )

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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Science Experiment

Last week our office was blessed with a cake. Not sure why, perhaps it was a special occasion like a birthday, anniversary, promotion, new puppy or then again perhaps it was just left over. What you see in the picture is what is left. Unfortunately this picture was taken today…hence, the science experiment. Last time I checked, lab coats were not standard issue. Well we do have two Doctors in our department, but not those kinds; my loss for I think I could use a MD right about now.

Reasons why I am starting to feel sick:
1) I saw something move on the plate
2) The crud has grown twice its size in past 48 hours
3) I work with someone who would leave this mess unnoticed

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Sunday, November 16, 2008

Ratio to wait?

What is the ratio of how long you should wait for your cup of morning java to the skills of the waitress(er)?
How does adding 3 reminders that you ordered coffee influence the ratio?

Will I stay here long enough to find out?
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Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Friendly supporters

Over the weekend I (and a few hundred other shoppers) took advantage of the BIG 1-day sale at Stein Mart. While this event attracted quite a crowd, it also brought on long lines and a few angry obnoxious shoppers. I believe waiting in the voting line earlier this week prepared me for this experience especially since the lady in front of me had well over 50 items to purchase. Then I heard the magic words that ever shopper secretly desires to hear, "Next in line please, I am now open."

My cashier greeted my with a smile and a HUGE Obama pin. I felt that was an open pass to discuss our common issues and to revel in the possibilities for the next 4 years. For the next few minutes the crowd behind me disappeared and I noticed that she added an extra discount to my purchase. She charged me the lowest price for my 3 shirts and left me wondering what would have happened if she wore a McCain button.
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Saturday, November 1, 2008

Night Off

Decided to take the night off from reading chapters and APA papers. This is what that looks like.
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Thursday, October 30, 2008


I have not moved in 20 minutes. The regular pace of moving through the line has stopped. Deciding to early vote was a choice, a selfish one, yet a choice. Just like my choice to bring a book and to leave my watch at home. Why selfish?? As a school board employee I have November 4th, election day, off from work. Since schools are closed teachers do not report to school; this day is even not considered a planning day. Well...the last thing I want to do on my day off is to stand in line. Which is why I am here with a few hundred of my closest friends. From Florida I just hope this vote is counted!
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Enough already!! For the past two days the morning am temperatures have dipped into the 50's. I am so over with winter already, bring back my sun and warm temperatures.

What I have noticed due to the cold weather:
1) It takes an additional 15 minutes to crawl out of bed. The fear of leaving the comfort of my warm toasty comforter has me shaking.
2) It takes an additional 10 minutes in the shower to thaw out. I believe my hot water tank finally hit a new low.
3) It takes an additional 3 minutes to towel off. All traces of water must be dried up before exiting the comfort of my mock steam room.
4) I am wearing way too much clothing for living in the south (north of the equator). The pic is what I needed to wear for walking Stanlee this morning.
5) I am unable to read the morning news on my crackberry while walking. Stanlee. My hands are too busy staying warm in my pockets.
6) The coffee makers appears to be running a bit slower this morning. I should have known better and programmed my automaker to wake me up to a gallon of fresh brewed java.
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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Great Pumpkin

This year there are far more Jacks out than last year. Actually the past few years. Did Publix have a BOGO free sale??? Who knows perhaps this is the year that he will rise out of the patch....
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Saturday, October 18, 2008

Another casualty

Yesterday I learned that my barber would be closing shop for the last time the weekend before Thanksgiving. Independently owned and part of the neighborhood for as long as I can remember, Harry, the owner and my professional cutter, can no longer afford the rent. This barbershop has the same look and feel as the shop from where my dad took me as a child. The pumping of the chair being raised is one sound that boys/men will never forget. The gentleman who work there are beyond professional, for the results they produce with what little hair they have to work with, I would consider them magical.

What I will miss most about the barbershop:
1) Debates on who has the best pizza in town.
2) Updates on the (mis)adventures of the wives and girlfriends
3) Whose dog bit who this week
4) Miami Dolphin anything
5) Bitching about 3 year old Sports Illustrated still on the rack
6) The variety of music from Blues to Reggae to Classic Rock
7) The people

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Halloween truths

Here are a few thoughts regarding our spooky night
1) There is a relationship between the quality of candy you purchase for halloween and how much is actually available to pass out.
2) If you open the bag before halloween you will eat more than you promised yourself (see #1).
3) Buying crappy candy is not right. Yes, there is crappy candy.
4) If you leave a candy filled bowl unattended by the front door expect the candy and bowl to disappear in 5 minutes.
5) If you decorate the outside of your house with halloween decorations, you must be home to pass out treats. It is okay to expect a few "tricks" is no one is home.
6) Don't hate the player, hate the game (see #4 & 5).
7) If you have halloween decorations inside and outside your home, they must be put away by midnight November 1.
8) Any left over candy must be brought to work. The only exception is chocolate anything- these are to be placed in the freezer for emergencies.
9) Regardless of what others tell you, dressing dead is okay. For ladies, dressing exotic is better and appreciated. Is it exotic or erotic- not sure anymore.
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Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Hole in my head

I am not sure why I even bother anymore. I have a friggin cavity!! WTF? Three and maybe four times a day I brush my teeth. It's the sonic vibrating toothbrush that has me hooked. Nothing like having something that sounds like an engine in your. mouth. I have even become obsessive with flossing. I floss at home, at work, and even in the car. Yeah, I really don't care who is watching.

Do you think I was surprised when I saw this pic? Its the black crater above. Even without this picture being enlarged 100x's it looks large enough to park my car there. Then I hear that cavities have a DNA connection. So I have now learned that: 1) it doesn't matter what you do, cavities will come & 2) I can thank my parents for this gift.
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Friday, October 3, 2008


Perhaps it is the holiday season (if you're jewish you know what I mean) why I have been praying a lot this week. I am looking for an answer, for meaning in why does my bathroom get so dirty so quickly? No matter when I clean or what I use to clean, the dirt reappears faster than my 5 O`clock shadow. I have tried every product (and a few deadly combinations) available at Publix, Wal-Mart, and Target--No Luck, No Results. All they offer is a lick and a promise. Is there something extra funky happening here?
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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

My new best friend

I'm not sure if the process is the same with women but when I use a public bathroom with a hand dryer it kinda sorta goes like this:
1) Release fluids
2) Wash hands (lots of soap here)
3) Kick start hand dryer. Yep I use my shoe for this. Certainly not going to use my clean hands
4) Rub hands under cool breeze
5) Wipe hands on pants

This is pretty much the process with little variation. It's the last step that can be a problem. Depending on the type of pants you just might walk out of the bathroom with two hand prints on the bum. My new best friend is the hand dryer above. We met in the bathroom of McDonald in Naples. This machine blew me like a Category 5 hurricane. My hands were completely dry, moist free, and toasty warm. Dry pants too!! I now plan to drive to Naples each time I need to use a public bathroom.
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Friday, September 19, 2008


Tonite is the nite. The first glimpse of Fall. Low humidity & a cool constant breeze. I almost forget that I am in Florida. Borat sayz, "Nice"
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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Waiting for ...

At 40 you find yourself in situations that were uncommon at 30 or even 35. As a birthday gift when I turned 40 I received the lifetime pass, the fast track badge, the yearly maintenance schedule for doctor visits. Now the doctor's office visit which at one time was reserved for only going when I was sick now is part of a big plan. I am not quite sure yet of the outcome...healthy life perhaps?

Anyway there are quite a few people here who need immediate care and I wonder why the doctors do not schedule days for the sick and different days for the folks for maintenance. I feel like I am taking someone's spot. I hope no one is in a hurry.
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Monday, September 15, 2008

Funky Monkey Martini

I have turned my favorite dessert into my new favorite "oh I am so glad to be home now it' time to relax and not think about the day" cocktail.

Remember having chocolate covered frozen bananas when you were younger? Who knew it was mom's way of getting us to eat over ripened fruit. Anyway I have mastered the liquid version, a Funky Monkey Martini,  get the paper and pen ready...

In an ice filled drink shaker (the metal one, think Bond- shaken not stirred) add 2 shots of freezer chilled vanilla vodka, 1 shot of banana schnapps, and 1 shot of chocolate martini mix. Shake, shake, shake, drain, drink, enjoy and repeat. Thank me later.
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Monday, September 1, 2008

Albertsons R.I.P.

Options of what to do, where to stop, while driving home after closing down a bar just became a little easier. For there is one less option, as of Saturday Albertsons of Plantation is gone. It has been a long goodbye, for months we have been waiting to hear of the final date. Once Publix bought out the South Florida locations the shock quite never left. The last days approached quickly with % markdowns. I must say I didn't feel one ounce of sorrow when I purchased a case of wine @ 25% off. Okay a little, but savings is savings.

When I heard late Friday nite that the day arrived I knew there would be one more visit. I didn't want to tell anyone, I needed to take this trip alone. At 7:30 am there were about 50 mourners filling their baskets. Some might call what was left "vulture pickins" but for most these were memories. I too grabbed a few memories and found myself roaming the empty aisles with a few others.

Albertsons was the first one stop shop (well at least in my area), the first with 10 for $10, and always open 24/7. I hear that change is good, I am not so sure on this one yet.
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Thursday, August 28, 2008

Cheap toys

They don't make 'em like they used too!. Whew-- never thought I would say that. Over the years I have noticed the lack of the toy surprise in breakfast cereal. For those who do not know me, I am somewhat of a cereal freak. I currently have 6 different types opened and consumed daily. Sometimes for breakfast, at times dinner, or even dessert. And not one box has provided me with a toy.

Now the real surprise is when you actually get one. During a recent meeting I was genuinely excited when my friend tossed the small shrink wrapped package on the table. While the content was a mystery, I knew that this object was a door to the past. When we opened the package you could almost hear the air leaking out of our inflated balloon heads. As advertised on the box this toy has been inspired by the movie, The Dark Knight. WTF!!!!! When does a lame cheaply made flimsy plastic top (which hardly spins) have to do with Batman?? A JOKEr perhaps? After many failed tries we lost interest and my mind wandered to memories of better fun stuff. Well at least I believe it was better. Ill stick to my new toys.
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Monday, August 25, 2008

This is no Toxic Hell*

I am sooo full! This evening I took the challenge of meeting one grilled veggie burrito "enchilada style" at Zona Fresca. Even though I was prepared and quite hungry I lost the battle and could only eat half.

Honestly its hard to find a decent mexican 'rant that doesn't bloat you with sodium but these folks do it right. I do believe that besides being incredibly fresh the salsa bar is my main draw. Gee, this almost sounds like I was asked by the manager to sing their praises. Perhaps a good word for an small exchange. Well I'd never, nope not me!

*Another name for Taco Bell
BTW- by the time I finished writing this I managed to finish the monster. I win!! The VB never had a chance!
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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Fay, we hardly met

I remember very little of hurricane activity when I was younger. I do have memories of Andrew in '92 and at that time I was fresh out of school and living with my parents. There has been a few scares while apartment living and even more brushes since owning my own place. Friends would gather for the last beer run being careful to buy drinks that can last at room temperature. While the beer run is still there we now start with the shutter questions. Should we? Shouldn't we? I chose as well as my friends not to put up any shutters. Good choice for now but who knows for a different storm.
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Sunday, August 17, 2008


There is a time for the healthy air popped popcorn and then there is the time for Snacks...Old School Style. 'Nuff said : )
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Monday, August 11, 2008

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign

The "powers that be" of my condo association strongly believe in the power of the sign. Oh, I do too- I believe that this sign will promote door slamming every waking hour of the day. I find it hard to imagine that there are still folks out in this world who thinks a sign will change behavior. If that was the case, then bumper stickers and billboards would dictate most of the decisions that affect of lives. Perhaps I should be the crazy neighbor wearing a full body sign. You know those wit the "End is Near" front and back plates, but without the message of doom.

So let it be written, so let it be done.
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Thursday, August 7, 2008

Feeling a bit Red

Have you ever caught yourself saying, "Damm, I never realized...!"? As I stand in front of the fridge this has been my mantra for the past 48 hours. Three days ago I decided to listen to my elder (that's what I am calling my mom today) and make an appointment for my yearly physical. This is not a new experience for me, I've been doing this for a while, and I was prepared for the lab visit to donate the common bodily fluids.

Okay so about now you might be asking what's the fridge connection...and this is where my word choice gets a bit selective. Let's just say that when you reach 40 the lab work includes liquids and solids. Get it?? And to make meals real interesting for the next 72 hours I am not allowed to eat anything red. Please don't ask why. No red sauce, no salsa, no red peppers, no crystal light, no cranberry juice, no strawberry honey bunches of oates, no pizza bites, no peaches (red skin), and no french fries (its a sin to eat without ketchup). All I want to say is, "Damm, I never realized how much red food I have!". Go ahead look in your fridge.
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Sunday, August 3, 2008

Honey's Bar R.I.P.

It would be a quick assessment to blame the sluggish economy on the demise of my local neighborhood independently owned bar, however I will yield to Grissoms' advice (from C.S.I.) and just follow the evidence. ...Okay maybe not with evidence but I'll reach with speculation.

The tax on the square feet alone had the owner's leg already in the dirt from day 1. His lack of bar and restaurant experience had the other leg not far behind. Maybe the lights are permanently off since the staff was drafted from another local bar that closed under mysterious pretenses. It should come as no surprise when you draft from a losing team with a rookie coach. Perhaps is was the lack of identity. The walls still projected the failures from the previous two owners. The mix of mexican, all star sports, and Hollywood memorabilia never sat well.
I was always impressed with their 11 wide screen lcd sets all over the place, equally amazed when they were all turned to the same channel. Oh you should have been there when they had game shows on during the NBA playoffs. What a hoot!!!

The servers always tried their hardest with what little they had. I do believe any negative energy that they shared was a plea for change. Too bad it was not the change they were probably looking for.
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Friday, August 1, 2008

3 and 45

Staying up late and getting up early does not get better over time. This disproves the theory that practice makes perfect. Years ago my nights started at 11:00, now I am lucky if I have one eye open before the late edition news. Last night was a miracle for I was still up at 12:30 or maybe the miracle is that I answered the call of my alarm at 4:30 or I am managing to key this into my crackberry as I wobble down the street walking my dog avoiding the early morning drivers. Nope the miracle was actually finding the end to that run on sentence! I cannot even claim a full 4 hours sleep. The trip to the fridge for water and the eventual bathroom stole 15 minutes from my beauty sleep. What's really f'd up is that I still choose to start my day at this ridiculous hour even when all I have is 3 and 45 in my bank. Wish me luck...zzzzzzzzzzz
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Thursday, July 31, 2008

Wrestling for all

Last week I realized how my oldest nephew and I are alike. With a 25+ year difference, we like the same shows- Go Figure! Growing up while my folks were watching Dallas, Falcon's Crest, and Dynasty, my soap opera of choice showcased body slams, sleeper holds, and figure four leg locks. This was and still is perfect entertainment for male teenagers. Every week I tuned into my favorite Pro Wrestling shows. Back then every Saturday morning there was Gordon Solie calling the moves at Florida Championship Wrestling and Monday night featured the best from the WWF in Madison Square Garden. Currently my nephew watches WWE wrestling every Friday and Monday night (when he is not grounded) while following with the latest 'raslin news online. I enjoy his text messages of who pinned who and occasionally recognize a name. The real kicker is that he can recite every match from opening bell to the final 1-2-3, too bad his science and spanish classes are taught without body slams.

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Thursday, July 24, 2008

Dropping By

On the nite I decided to crash early, and that means bed before 11:00, I get a phone call from a few friends who greeted me on with a "We're coming over." Believe it or not but I actually protested their request. Twenty years ago my hesitation would have been replaced with sounds of Pomp and Circumstance (the "Macho Man" Savage version of course). I gave in and within 5 minutes the doorbell was singing. As much as I enjoyed their company (2 hours worth) all I could focus on was my alarm set to go off at 4:30. Well it's almost 24 hours later and I'm waiting for another phone call.
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Monday, July 21, 2008

A little trim

About once every few weeks I roleplay and fantasize that I need a haircut. Let's just say that I have become a firm believer that at times LESS IS MORE. I have also developed a fondness for the barber shop culture. Where else can one disappear for hours, have access to every sport magazine ever published, and hear dirt about the local crazies?
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Thursday, July 17, 2008

Square Peg, Round Hole

This represents the constant struggle that I experience, try to avoid, and attempt to lean from on a daily basis. At times I am not sure what is best. Should I:
A) force the square peg into submission,
B) shave, sand, and lube the peg for a snug fit, or
C) toss it and find a better matching piece?

Besides, do you remember the "Square Pegs" tv show? Man, SJP was sooo much cuter as a geek! I'm afraid to ask if there was a "Round Hole" tv series.
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Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Summer might be over

This is my second day back from summer break and not a moment too soon. Now I can enjoy the rain from the comfort of my office and not worry about getting soaked. Sorry Stanlee, I love ya, but the afternoon walks were killing me.

Even on Day 2 we still enjoy getting together and sharing stories (even the not-so interesting ones). I feel that I almost had a real vacation.
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Saturday, July 12, 2008

I don't melt

This is what I said to my friend when she surprisingly stated, "It's raining out." Granted I am the first to hurdle towards the bed and sink deeply into the darkness, so I am not sure why I was shocked by her comment. For some the world comes to a complete stop when it rains, other dance, and some sleep. Tonight I choose to do something different and head out for sushi.
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Friday, July 11, 2008

Oil in Florida

As if survival in a recession isn't enough to worry about these days, I now need to worry about surviving in my own backyard. Yet this does bring a glimmer of hope for the distant future with these present day dinosaurs. The debate of offshore oil drilling can finally come to a rest. The return of Godzilla should move off shore drilling to lake front a possibility. There is a future with Florida's version of Texas Tea.
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Thursday, July 10, 2008

Signpost up ahead

Seeing this made my day. It appears that the potential solution brought on another potential problem. The condo board has placed these signs throughout my community hoping that the message will change behavior. It looks like it worked. You so know that some idiot will suggest placing additional signs to keep litter in the trash.
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Wednesday, July 9, 2008

I Rock!

Just who is the target audience for Guitar Hero (GH)? When else can a 40 year old shred a guitar, run around banging out chords, and sing "Sweet Emotion" all the while feeling like a Guitar God? It's a trick question since a) Joe Perry is 58 and Steve Tyler from Aerosmith is 60 and b) my nephew also spends his free time playing GH. Either he is quite mature for his age or I am refusing to let go. It doesn't matter since I am off for my world tour. ENCORE! ENCORE!
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