McIdiot

I had a cravin for McFries. Instead of sending you the pic of this tasty treat, I'll share you the plate of the vehicle that almost hit the side of my car. Having worked at McDs, I can honestly say that there is nothing on the menu worthy of an accident. Well...maybe the chocolate shake w/ fries. Mmmmmm...fries!

On another note, keep an eye out for McIdiots.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Dealing with stress

While thousands of people spend millions of dollars learning to deal with stress, I stand behind the good 'ol fashion ice cream sundae. I don't need a lecture on how this is ignoring the issue or avoiding the root cause, I just don't care. What I do know is that what is causing my stress is relative (not relatives) and I will probably find a common sense solution in a matter of days. With that being said, let me find some immediate comfort and please pass the cherries.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

h2o problem?

It's been over a month since "The Flood" and while I sit here and wait for my insurance check I thought it would be a good idea to share some basic first steps to get through a h2o crisis.

As you approach your house and discover there is a water leak there are a few steps I recommend for you to take into consideration. This will get you through the first hour.

The following takes place between 2:00 and 3:00 p.m. (insert ticking sound effect from 24) tick, tick, tick...
Step 1. As you notice water flowing from under your front door and filling the driveway- Don't Freak Out!

Step 2. Turn off the main water valve.

Step 3. Open the front door and as the water pours over your feet- Don't Freak Out!

Step 4. Swim to the back of the house and open all available doors. For me I had two sliding glass doors to open. Water should also begin to move out from this area.

Step 5. Comfort your wet dog, who doesn't have a clue to what just happened. His presence assures you that the water is not dangerous. Message to self: wall mount everything, especially electric strips.

Step 6. Don't Freak Out!

Step 7. Call your insurance company. If this occurres after work hours call a water removal service. Explain the situation to your insurance agent. I was fortunate enough to have them send the water removal company.

Step 8. Your priority at this time is to remove the water and take pictures of everything.

Step 9. Wait for water removal company.

Step 10. Don't Freak Out!

Step 11. Call plumber to fix the leak. Until the damage is fixed, your house has no water. No water = No toilet!

Step 12. Comfort your wet dog- provide treat for distraction.

Step 13. Don't Freak Out!

Step 14. Look for your old presciption of xanax. Don't take any yet, but you will need it later.

Step 15. Look around the room, yes it's depressing, however youi notice the flood has drowned all of your dust bunnies. Yippee!!!

Step 16. Keep calling the insurance agent. He/she needs to recognize the sounds of urgency in your voice. Have them call the water removal service again. If you the agent over, you'll get faster service.

That's about it for the first hour. I don't remember much after that...see Step 14!!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Whew!

The process of recovery has begun. Yesterday I picked out the tile for my bedrooms and hallway. Installation begins in one week and fortunately that is all the time I have available to spend. For the next seven days I need to prepare by moving all that is moveable (key definition is breakable) into a secure part of the house. I cannot think of a better to evaluate the amount and/or value of crap I have accumulated over the years. Wish me luck!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T