Thursday, April 9, 2009
New family member
1) Shop for the right make and model. Some folks are still old fashioned and just accept with what they have and there is nothing wrong with that. However, there is a group of parents who actually place an order with a little help from DNA science. My process was not that costly, yet highly involved. Between reading cnet and consumer report reviews and product observation, this process was almost a full time job.
2) Remove old furniture. I actually placed the old TV and stand in the bedroom. This displacement is what a first born might feel before the arrival of the second child. Say goodbye to the office and hello to the nursery.
3) Clean up the area and surrounding furniture. This is close to #2, yet the focus is on cleanliness not just changing of the furniture. The new TV must enter a sterile environment.
4) The waiting. Once you have made the selection is juts a matter of waiting for arrival. Some arrival dates/ times are specific while others provide a "window".
5) Arrival. Upon arrival the feeling of relief turns to concern. As a new owner, one must know the proper care and maintenance to promote health and wellness. Yes, we are still talking about a television.
6) Celebration. Invite friends and family to meet, greet, and enjoy the company of the new arrival. Bringing snacks in hand is welcomed and encouraged.
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Sunday, March 22, 2009
McIdiot
On another note, keep an eye out for McIdiots.
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Dealing with stress
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Thursday, March 12, 2009
h2o problem?
As you approach your house and discover there is a water leak there are a few steps I recommend for you to take into consideration. This will get you through the first hour.
The following takes place between 2:00 and 3:00 p.m. (insert ticking sound effect from 24) tick, tick, tick...
Step 1. As you notice water flowing from under your front door and filling the driveway- Don't Freak Out!
Step 2. Turn off the main water valve.
Step 3. Open the front door and as the water pours over your feet- Don't Freak Out!
Step 4. Swim to the back of the house and open all available doors. For me I had two sliding glass doors to open. Water should also begin to move out from this area.
Step 5. Comfort your wet dog, who doesn't have a clue to what just happened. His presence assures you that the water is not dangerous. Message to self: wall mount everything, especially electric strips.
Step 6. Don't Freak Out!
Step 7. Call your insurance company. If this occurres after work hours call a water removal service. Explain the situation to your insurance agent. I was fortunate enough to have them send the water removal company.
Step 8. Your priority at this time is to remove the water and take pictures of everything.
Step 9. Wait for water removal company.
Step 10. Don't Freak Out!
Step 11. Call plumber to fix the leak. Until the damage is fixed, your house has no water. No water = No toilet!
Step 12. Comfort your wet dog- provide treat for distraction.
Step 13. Don't Freak Out!
Step 14. Look for your old presciption of xanax. Don't take any yet, but you will need it later.
Step 15. Look around the room, yes it's depressing, however youi notice the flood has drowned all of your dust bunnies. Yippee!!!
Step 16. Keep calling the insurance agent. He/she needs to recognize the sounds of urgency in your voice. Have them call the water removal service again. If you the agent over, you'll get faster service.
That's about it for the first hour. I don't remember much after that...see Step 14!!
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Sunday, March 8, 2009
Whew!
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Tuesday, February 24, 2009
February- part deux
PS- Loos good and all will be ok. Yeah!!!!
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February needs to end NOW!
Comfort came from friends who assured me that "things come in 3s" and I am all done with my problems. Well…another issue arrived this past week that has a direct relationship to the first three problems. Due to the stress and anxiety of the past week, I decided to take out my frustration in the bedroom. Let's just say (in trying to keep this blog PG13) that you can actually cause trauma to your body, specifically below the waist, when activity becomes a little rough. As a result I found myself thinking I needed surgery all weekend long and headed to the urologist first thing Monday morning. He confirmed that my damage was not infected and did not require medical treatment other than rest and to maintain a HIGH level of water intake.
Currently I am not allowed any extra-curricular activities, which are fine since I am headed to the bathroom every 10 minutes! When does March arrive????
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Sunday, February 15, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Observation: What does it say? What can it mean?
Sitting in the booth was an elderly man, not quite AARP, but well over mid-life. This is what I was able to hear(W=waitress, C=customer):
W: Coffee?
C: No coffee, just water with lemon.
C: What happened to the All American Slam for $4.00
W: We changed the menu, but you can create your own slam.
C: What do you recommend on the senior menu that has the most food for the price?
(I was unable to hear her full response)
W: Biscuit or toast
C: What kind of biscuit
W: We only have one kind.
C: I'll take the biscuit, looks bigger
The rest of his time which I observed was his attempt to schedule house viewing. Broker?
From my observation, can I determine what does it say or what can it mean?
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Saturday, February 7, 2009
One step at a time
Ok, now why is this a pressing issue? Well…this past Monday I came home to a house ankle deep in water from corner to corner. I am not sure what was more shocking: seeing water flowing out my front door or seeing Stanlee paddling through the water in the living room. I am not prepared to discuss the volume of damage other than living displaced is causing an undesirable amount of stress. That said, I am preoccupied with the though of my long-term goal of life back to normal. Yet I get lost when it comes to planning how to get there. If I get too far ahead in my plans I get consumed with anxiety. Only when I focus on the closest act to me is where I find serenity. Perhaps that too, as it has for the coaches mentioned above will lead me to success.
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Thursday, January 29, 2009
Treating an infant
What is a dad to do when his baby is sick and unable to tell you what's wrong? Sunday night I noticed his routine was a bit off and I did not pay too much attention to this; he came from spending 5 days with his grandparents and I thought this was just a natural transition or at least it was not uncommon to avoid food for a while.
The next morning, I noticed excessive licking of the tail and a closer look showed an unusually large growth spotting blood. We ran to vet and they identified an infected ruptured growth--yuck. I didn't have a free hand to take that picture. Well, two plus hours later he had surgery to remove the growth and patch up what is left of his tail.
For the past two days (going on 3) I have been monitoring his rest (quite little), food intake (practically none), tail swelling (seems ok), tail licking (24/7), and bowel movements (which stopped altogether). My sleep schedule had been replaced with watching him. I fear that if not monitored properly he can lose his tail.
Any suggestions on how to find balance would be welcomed & appreciated. Thanks
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Friday, January 23, 2009
Be careful what you ask for
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Sunday, January 4, 2009
No down time?
It is just easier to find a card that shares the same sentiment that you wished you had the ability and creativity to compose? Chances are you do, yet there is little money to be made for hand made cards with personal verse of poetry. That is of course you were raised in Florida and is quite comfortable with formula writing.
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Thursday, December 25, 2008
Xmas gift
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Friday, December 12, 2008
What is with the signs????
This not the first time I've encountered signage overload. If the answer lies in a sign not only will I open a sign store, but I'm off to tattoo "stop the insanity" on my forehead.
By the way, my psych professor shared that folks who are messy usually don't wipe well either. Yep, you're glad I shared that with 'ya.
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Sunday, December 7, 2008
Holiday Cheer
My barber shop is not closing (at this point you can imagine me trying my best Snoopy Dance impersonation). If u remember or if you just read my earlier post, Harry was to shut his doors for the last time just before Thanksgiving. He told me he approached the owner of the shopping center and renegotiated a 5 year lease at a lower rate. It appears Harry played the right hand and this owner did not need another empty storefront (currently there are 6). With a 5 year lease my haircuts are secure. At my rate I do not anticipate needing him after 2013.
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Thursday, November 20, 2008
Disappearing Shampoo
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Tuesday, November 18, 2008
The Science Experiment
Last week our office was blessed with a cake. Not sure why, perhaps it was a special occasion like a birthday, anniversary, promotion, new puppy or then again perhaps it was just left over. What you see in the picture is what is left. Unfortunately this picture was taken today…hence, the science experiment. Last time I checked, lab coats were not standard issue. Well we do have two Doctors in our department, but not those kinds; my loss for I think I could use a MD right about now.
Reasons why I am starting to feel sick:
1) I saw something move on the plate
2) The crud has grown twice its size in past 48 hours
3) I work with someone who would leave this mess unnoticed
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Sunday, November 16, 2008
Ratio to wait?
How does adding 3 reminders that you ordered coffee influence the ratio?
Will I stay here long enough to find out?
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Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Friendly supporters
My cashier greeted my with a smile and a HUGE Obama pin. I felt that was an open pass to discuss our common issues and to revel in the possibilities for the next 4 years. For the next few minutes the crowd behind me disappeared and I noticed that she added an extra discount to my purchase. She charged me the lowest price for my 3 shirts and left me wondering what would have happened if she wore a McCain button.
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Saturday, November 1, 2008
Night Off
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Thursday, October 30, 2008
Voting
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Brrrrrrrrr
What I have noticed due to the cold weather:
1) It takes an additional 15 minutes to crawl out of bed. The fear of leaving the comfort of my warm toasty comforter has me shaking.
2) It takes an additional 10 minutes in the shower to thaw out. I believe my hot water tank finally hit a new low.
3) It takes an additional 3 minutes to towel off. All traces of water must be dried up before exiting the comfort of my mock steam room.
4) I am wearing way too much clothing for living in the south (north of the equator). The pic is what I needed to wear for walking Stanlee this morning.
5) I am unable to read the morning news on my crackberry while walking. Stanlee. My hands are too busy staying warm in my pockets.
6) The coffee makers appears to be running a bit slower this morning. I should have known better and programmed my automaker to wake me up to a gallon of fresh brewed java.
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Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Great Pumpkin
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Saturday, October 18, 2008
Another casualty
What I will miss most about the barbershop:
1) Debates on who has the best pizza in town.
2) Updates on the (mis)adventures of the wives and girlfriends
3) Whose dog bit who this week
4) Miami Dolphin anything
5) Bitching about 3 year old Sports Illustrated still on the rack
6) The variety of music from Blues to Reggae to Classic Rock
7) The people
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Halloween truths
1) There is a relationship between the quality of candy you purchase for halloween and how much is actually available to pass out.
2) If you open the bag before halloween you will eat more than you promised yourself (see #1).
3) Buying crappy candy is not right. Yes, there is crappy candy.
4) If you leave a candy filled bowl unattended by the front door expect the candy and bowl to disappear in 5 minutes.
5) If you decorate the outside of your house with halloween decorations, you must be home to pass out treats. It is okay to expect a few "tricks" is no one is home.
6) Don't hate the player, hate the game (see #4 & 5).
7) If you have halloween decorations inside and outside your home, they must be put away by midnight November 1.
8) Any left over candy must be brought to work. The only exception is chocolate anything- these are to be placed in the freezer for emergencies.
9) Regardless of what others tell you, dressing dead is okay. For ladies, dressing exotic is better and appreciated. Is it exotic or erotic- not sure anymore.
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Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Hole in my head
Do you think I was surprised when I saw this pic? Its the black crater above. Even without this picture being enlarged 100x's it looks large enough to park my car there. Then I hear that cavities have a DNA connection. So I have now learned that: 1) it doesn't matter what you do, cavities will come & 2) I can thank my parents for this gift.
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Friday, October 3, 2008
Miracle
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Wednesday, September 24, 2008
My new best friend
1) Release fluids
2) Wash hands (lots of soap here)
3) Kick start hand dryer. Yep I use my shoe for this. Certainly not going to use my clean hands
4) Rub hands under cool breeze
5) Wipe hands on pants
This is pretty much the process with little variation. It's the last step that can be a problem. Depending on the type of pants you just might walk out of the bathroom with two hand prints on the bum. My new best friend is the hand dryer above. We met in the bathroom of McDonald in Naples. This machine blew me like a Category 5 hurricane. My hands were completely dry, moist free, and toasty warm. Dry pants too!! I now plan to drive to Naples each time I need to use a public bathroom.
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Friday, September 19, 2008
Brrrrrrrrrr
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Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Waiting for ...
Anyway there are quite a few people here who need immediate care and I wonder why the doctors do not schedule days for the sick and different days for the folks for maintenance. I feel like I am taking someone's spot. I hope no one is in a hurry.
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Monday, September 15, 2008
Funky Monkey Martini
Remember having chocolate covered frozen bananas when you were younger? Who knew it was mom's way of getting us to eat over ripened fruit. Anyway I have mastered the liquid version, a Funky Monkey Martini, get the paper and pen ready...
In an ice filled drink shaker (the metal one, think Bond- shaken not stirred) add 2 shots of freezer chilled vanilla vodka, 1 shot of banana schnapps, and 1 shot of chocolate martini mix. Shake, shake, shake, drain, drink, enjoy and repeat. Thank me later.
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Monday, September 1, 2008
Albertsons R.I.P.
When I heard late Friday nite that the day arrived I knew there would be one more visit. I didn't want to tell anyone, I needed to take this trip alone. At 7:30 am there were about 50 mourners filling their baskets. Some might call what was left "vulture pickins" but for most these were memories. I too grabbed a few memories and found myself roaming the empty aisles with a few others.
Albertsons was the first one stop shop (well at least in my area), the first with 10 for $10, and always open 24/7. I hear that change is good, I am not so sure on this one yet.
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Thursday, August 28, 2008
Cheap toys
Now the real surprise is when you actually get one. During a recent meeting I was genuinely excited when my friend tossed the small shrink wrapped package on the table. While the content was a mystery, I knew that this object was a door to the past. When we opened the package you could almost hear the air leaking out of our inflated balloon heads. As advertised on the box this toy has been inspired by the movie, The Dark Knight. WTF!!!!! When does a lame cheaply made flimsy plastic top (which hardly spins) have to do with Batman?? A JOKEr perhaps? After many failed tries we lost interest and my mind wandered to memories of better fun stuff. Well at least I believe it was better. Ill stick to my new toys.
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Monday, August 25, 2008
This is no Toxic Hell*
Honestly its hard to find a decent mexican 'rant that doesn't bloat you with sodium but these folks do it right. I do believe that besides being incredibly fresh the salsa bar is my main draw. Gee, this almost sounds like I was asked by the manager to sing their praises. Perhaps a good word for an small exchange. Well I'd never, nope not me!
*Another name for Taco Bell
BTW- by the time I finished writing this I managed to finish the monster. I win!! The VB never had a chance!
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Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Fay, we hardly met
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Sunday, August 17, 2008
Craving
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Monday, August 11, 2008
Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
So let it be written, so let it be done.
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Thursday, August 7, 2008
Feeling a bit Red
Okay so about now you might be asking what's the fridge connection...and this is where my word choice gets a bit selective. Let's just say that when you reach 40 the lab work includes liquids and solids. Get it?? And to make meals real interesting for the next 72 hours I am not allowed to eat anything red. Please don't ask why. No red sauce, no salsa, no red peppers, no crystal light, no cranberry juice, no strawberry honey bunches of oates, no pizza bites, no peaches (red skin), and no french fries (its a sin to eat without ketchup). All I want to say is, "Damm, I never realized how much red food I have!". Go ahead look in your fridge.
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Sunday, August 3, 2008
Honey's Bar R.I.P.
The tax on the square feet alone had the owner's leg already in the dirt from day 1. His lack of bar and restaurant experience had the other leg not far behind. Maybe the lights are permanently off since the staff was drafted from another local bar that closed under mysterious pretenses. It should come as no surprise when you draft from a losing team with a rookie coach. Perhaps is was the lack of identity. The walls still projected the failures from the previous two owners. The mix of mexican, all star sports, and Hollywood memorabilia never sat well.
I was always impressed with their 11 wide screen lcd sets all over the place, equally amazed when they were all turned to the same channel. Oh you should have been there when they had game shows on during the NBA playoffs. What a hoot!!!
The servers always tried their hardest with what little they had. I do believe any negative energy that they shared was a plea for change. Too bad it was not the change they were probably looking for.
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Friday, August 1, 2008
3 and 45
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Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wrestling for all
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Thursday, July 24, 2008
Dropping By
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Monday, July 21, 2008
A little trim
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Thursday, July 17, 2008
Square Peg, Round Hole
A) force the square peg into submission,
B) shave, sand, and lube the peg for a snug fit, or
C) toss it and find a better matching piece?
Besides, do you remember the "Square Pegs" tv show? Man, SJP was sooo much cuter as a geek! I'm afraid to ask if there was a "Round Hole" tv series.
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Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Summer might be over
Even on Day 2 we still enjoy getting together and sharing stories (even the not-so interesting ones). I feel that I almost had a real vacation.
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Saturday, July 12, 2008
I don't melt
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Friday, July 11, 2008
Oil in Florida
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Thursday, July 10, 2008
Signpost up ahead
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Wednesday, July 9, 2008
I Rock!
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Saturday, July 5, 2008
Serenity Now
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Friday, July 4, 2008
Need 2 hurry
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Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Home-made Mmmmmmmm
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Saturday, June 28, 2008
In Heat
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Friday, June 27, 2008
Back in time
The pic is a snapshot of my bedroom ceiling fan; just how I saw it- blurry.
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Monday, June 23, 2008
Location, location, location!
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Saturday, June 21, 2008
Summer Lovin'
Summer not only brings the heat but the daily rain, thunder, and monsoon storms (Yes, I know there is a relationship between heat and rain. Feel free to post your explanation in the comment section). Having a dog (with Kidney issues) only increases your awareness of when these storms approach. My timing was off for the first week of summer we were caught in 4 storms before we made it back home. I now rush to make it inside before another drop of water lands on my crackberry only to head for the shower.
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Thursday, June 19, 2008
Back to School! Part Deux
I have committed to completing my masters degree meaning I have enrolled full time back at school. That actually means 4 papers every week for the next 40 weeks. Shoot me...please. Not sure why I returned, I hated school growing up. Maybe hate is too strong a word here (maybe I'm just a masochist); I just did not care to attend. School distracted me from learning. Now at 40, I just figured that I might as well get a degree for something I will probably do anyway (perhaps with less writing).
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Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Last Cup
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