New family member

I think I spent the last few days preparing a nursery for a new member of the family. Now I am not talking about a new baby boy or girl, but a new television. Before you make judgment on the comparison, consider how I spent the last few days.

1) Shop for the right make and model. Some folks are still old fashioned and just accept with what they have and there is nothing wrong with that. However, there is a group of parents who actually place an order with a little help from DNA science. My process was not that costly, yet highly involved. Between reading cnet and consumer report reviews and product observation, this process was almost a full time job.

2) Remove old furniture. I actually placed the old TV and stand in the bedroom. This displacement is what a first born might feel before the arrival of the second child.  Say goodbye to the office and hello to the nursery.

3) Clean up the area and surrounding furniture. This is close to #2, yet the focus is on cleanliness not just changing of the furniture. The new TV must enter a sterile environment.

4) The waiting. Once you have made the selection is juts a matter of waiting for arrival. Some arrival dates/ times are specific while others provide a "window".

5) Arrival. Upon arrival the feeling of relief turns to concern. As a new owner, one must know the proper care and maintenance to promote health and wellness. Yes, we are still talking about a television.

6) Celebration. Invite friends and family to meet, greet, and enjoy the company of the new arrival. Bringing snacks in hand is welcomed and encouraged.
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McIdiot

I had a cravin for McFries. Instead of sending you the pic of this tasty treat, I'll share you the plate of the vehicle that almost hit the side of my car. Having worked at McDs, I can honestly say that there is nothing on the menu worthy of an accident. Well...maybe the chocolate shake w/ fries. Mmmmmm...fries!

On another note, keep an eye out for McIdiots.
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Dealing with stress

While thousands of people spend millions of dollars learning to deal with stress, I stand behind the good 'ol fashion ice cream sundae. I don't need a lecture on how this is ignoring the issue or avoiding the root cause, I just don't care. What I do know is that what is causing my stress is relative (not relatives) and I will probably find a common sense solution in a matter of days. With that being said, let me find some immediate comfort and please pass the cherries.
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h2o problem?

It's been over a month since "The Flood" and while I sit here and wait for my insurance check I thought it would be a good idea to share some basic first steps to get through a h2o crisis.

As you approach your house and discover there is a water leak there are a few steps I recommend for you to take into consideration. This will get you through the first hour.

The following takes place between 2:00 and 3:00 p.m. (insert ticking sound effect from 24) tick, tick, tick...
Step 1. As you notice water flowing from under your front door and filling the driveway- Don't Freak Out!

Step 2. Turn off the main water valve.

Step 3. Open the front door and as the water pours over your feet- Don't Freak Out!

Step 4. Swim to the back of the house and open all available doors. For me I had two sliding glass doors to open. Water should also begin to move out from this area.

Step 5. Comfort your wet dog, who doesn't have a clue to what just happened. His presence assures you that the water is not dangerous. Message to self: wall mount everything, especially electric strips.

Step 6. Don't Freak Out!

Step 7. Call your insurance company. If this occurres after work hours call a water removal service. Explain the situation to your insurance agent. I was fortunate enough to have them send the water removal company.

Step 8. Your priority at this time is to remove the water and take pictures of everything.

Step 9. Wait for water removal company.

Step 10. Don't Freak Out!

Step 11. Call plumber to fix the leak. Until the damage is fixed, your house has no water. No water = No toilet!

Step 12. Comfort your wet dog- provide treat for distraction.

Step 13. Don't Freak Out!

Step 14. Look for your old presciption of xanax. Don't take any yet, but you will need it later.

Step 15. Look around the room, yes it's depressing, however youi notice the flood has drowned all of your dust bunnies. Yippee!!!

Step 16. Keep calling the insurance agent. He/she needs to recognize the sounds of urgency in your voice. Have them call the water removal service again. If you the agent over, you'll get faster service.

That's about it for the first hour. I don't remember much after that...see Step 14!!
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Whew!

The process of recovery has begun. Yesterday I picked out the tile for my bedrooms and hallway. Installation begins in one week and fortunately that is all the time I have available to spend. For the next seven days I need to prepare by moving all that is moveable (key definition is breakable) into a secure part of the house. I cannot think of a better to evaluate the amount and/or value of crap I have accumulated over the years. Wish me luck!
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February- part deux

I am soooo getting a second opinion!!!

PS- Loos good and all will be ok. Yeah!!!!
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February needs to end NOW!

Let me just express how pleased I am that there are only 28 days in February, this has not been a good month.  What started as peaceful has been snowballing into issues of annoyance and stress.  I'm hesitant to gripe since no one has died, however being sick is now in the cards. First there was Stanlee with his exploding tail issue, which was quickly followed by the car rubbing problem ant Publix. Thank you to the driver who hit and left the car for my discovery, fortunately one good thing came out of having my car repaired and painted- the body shop did an amazing job of cleaning the exterior. These two events were the prequel to my house being flooded…please keep in mind that this is all within 7 days. 

Comfort came from friends who assured me that "things come in 3s" and I am all done with my problems. Well…another issue arrived this past week that has a direct relationship to the first three problems. Due to the stress and anxiety of the past week, I decided to take out my frustration in the bedroom. Let's just say (in trying to keep this blog PG13) that you can actually cause trauma to your body, specifically below the waist, when activity becomes a little rough. As a result I found myself thinking I needed surgery all weekend long and headed to the urologist first thing Monday morning. He confirmed that my damage was not infected and did not require medical treatment other than rest and to maintain a HIGH level of water intake.

Currently I am not allowed any extra-curricular activities, which are fine since I am headed to the bathroom every 10 minutes! When does March arrive????
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Cure for stress

Take as needed. 'Nuff said!
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Observation: What does it say? What can it mean?

I decided to leave Ground Zero (this is what I am now calling my. home until it becomes functional again) and head out for breakfast. While I was waiting for my meal, I could not help but overhear the conversation behind me.

Sitting in the booth was an elderly man, not quite AARP, but well over mid-life. This is what I was able to hear(W=waitress, C=customer):

W: Coffee?
C: No coffee, just water with lemon.
C: What happened to the All American Slam for $4.00
W: We changed the menu, but you can create your own slam.
C: What do you recommend on the senior menu that has the most food for the price?
(I was unable to hear her full response)
W: Biscuit or toast
C: What kind of biscuit
W: We only have one kind.
C: I'll take the biscuit, looks bigger

The rest of his time which I observed was his attempt to schedule house viewing. Broker?

From my observation, can I determine what does it say or what can it mean?
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One step at a time

I’ve been spending a considerable amount of time contemplating the relationship between planning and reaching goals. My obsession started with the excessive “coach speak” during the NCAA football season. While each coach had aspirations and goals to improve their rankings and receive a bowl berth, they effective coaches maintained their immediate focus not on the future in January, but on the next game. So I began to wonder, when it comes to planning how close to the point of action is necessary for success? Or was my question, does planning too far in advance increase your chances on missing your goals. I wasn’t sure, but I do know that the successful coaches didn’t prepare for the games two weeks away but planned for the next week. Yet is that close enough? Did they plan for each day of the week or just the next practice session? Perhaps after the Saturday game and watching the game film, they planned for Sunday, and took each day one day at a time.

Ok, now why is this a pressing issue? Well…this past Monday I came home to a house ankle deep in water from corner to corner. I am not sure what was more shocking: seeing water flowing out my front door or seeing Stanlee paddling through the water in the living room. I am not prepared to discuss the volume of damage other than living displaced is causing an undesirable amount of stress. That said, I am preoccupied with the though of my long-term goal of life back to normal. Yet I get lost when it comes to planning how to get there. If I get too far ahead in my plans I get consumed with anxiety. Only when I focus on the closest act to me is where I find serenity. Perhaps that too, as it has for the coaches mentioned above will lead me to success.

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Treating an infant

The whinning. The crying. The shaking. The lack of eating. The lack of pottty time. The sad looks. The tears. The cuddle.

What is a dad to do when his baby is sick and unable to tell you what's wrong? Sunday night I noticed his routine was a bit off and I did not pay too much attention to this; he came from spending 5 days with his grandparents and I thought this was just a natural transition or at least it was not uncommon to avoid food for a while.

The next morning, I noticed excessive licking of the tail and a closer look showed an unusually large growth spotting blood. We ran to vet and they identified an infected ruptured growth--yuck. I didn't have a free hand to take that picture. Well, two plus hours later he had surgery to remove the growth and patch up what is left of his tail.

For the past two days (going on 3) I have been monitoring his rest (quite little), food intake (practically none), tail swelling (seems ok), tail licking (24/7), and bowel movements (which stopped altogether). My sleep schedule had been replaced with watching him. I fear that if not monitored properly he can lose his tail.

I repackaged his bandage and now I wait for the lab tests.

Any suggestions on how to find balance would be welcomed & appreciated. Thanks

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Be careful what you ask for

The previous vodka sour was provided without a cherry, yet plenty of stem. This is what happens when you bring this to your bartender's attention.
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No down time?

With lights still adorning homes, trees still in the living rooms and wax buildup on the menorah, can someone please explain to me why the rush for Valentines Day, I personally like to call it V-D. Is Hallmark in such a need to reinforce the love and caring to each other in a way that the holiday spirit simply missed?

It is just easier to find a card that shares the same sentiment that you wished you had the ability and creativity to compose? Chances are you do, yet there is little money to be made for hand made cards with personal verse of poetry. That is of course you were raised in Florida and is quite comfortable with formula writing.
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Xmas gift

This is the best gift ever. Nothing beats homemade pizza. It's the only time you are guaranteed to eat what you order. Why a christmas gift? It's christmas, silly!
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What is with the signs????

Someone where I work believes that this sign will actually get people to flush! I just not sure about this. Were people actually walking away from the stall oblivious to their mess until this was posted. The image of a choir singing, sunlight beaming, and angels dancing at the point of enlightenment is just too much for me.

This not the first time I've encountered signage overload. If the answer lies in a sign not only will I open a sign store, but I'm off to tattoo "stop the insanity" on my forehead.

By the way, my psych professor shared that folks who are messy usually don't wipe well either. Yep, you're glad I shared that with 'ya.
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Holiday Cheer

A hanukkah gift arrived early this week. Well maybe this is more like blessings.

My barber shop is not closing (at this point you can imagine me trying my best Snoopy Dance impersonation). If u remember or if you just read my earlier post, Harry was to shut his doors for the last time just before Thanksgiving. He told me he approached the owner of the shopping center and renegotiated a 5 year lease at a lower rate. It appears Harry played the right hand and this owner did not need another empty storefront (currently there are 6). With a 5 year lease my haircuts are secure. At my rate I do not anticipate needing him after 2013.
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Disappearing Shampoo

I want to believe that Carmen Electra comes over to my house everyday and washes her hair. Now the only proof I have is found in this picture. These two bottles are bought at the same time, opened at the same time, and used at the same time. Even the same quarter size drop of shampoo or conditioner makes it into in the palm of my hand. And quite honestly, I do not follow the repeat process with the shampoo, once is definitely enough for my scalp. Yet just look at these bottles. The shampoo is disappearing at a faster rate. I am thinking of setting up one of those Nanny Cams in my bathroom to catch Carmen in the act. My plan does not get much farther than that. I am open to suggestions. : )

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The Science Experiment

Last week our office was blessed with a cake. Not sure why, perhaps it was a special occasion like a birthday, anniversary, promotion, new puppy or then again perhaps it was just left over. What you see in the picture is what is left. Unfortunately this picture was taken today…hence, the science experiment. Last time I checked, lab coats were not standard issue. Well we do have two Doctors in our department, but not those kinds; my loss for I think I could use a MD right about now.

Reasons why I am starting to feel sick:
1) I saw something move on the plate
2) The crud has grown twice its size in past 48 hours
3) I work with someone who would leave this mess unnoticed

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Ratio to wait?

What is the ratio of how long you should wait for your cup of morning java to the skills of the waitress(er)?
How does adding 3 reminders that you ordered coffee influence the ratio?

Will I stay here long enough to find out?
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Friendly supporters

Over the weekend I (and a few hundred other shoppers) took advantage of the BIG 1-day sale at Stein Mart. While this event attracted quite a crowd, it also brought on long lines and a few angry obnoxious shoppers. I believe waiting in the voting line earlier this week prepared me for this experience especially since the lady in front of me had well over 50 items to purchase. Then I heard the magic words that ever shopper secretly desires to hear, "Next in line please, I am now open."

My cashier greeted my with a smile and a HUGE Obama pin. I felt that was an open pass to discuss our common issues and to revel in the possibilities for the next 4 years. For the next few minutes the crowd behind me disappeared and I noticed that she added an extra discount to my purchase. She charged me the lowest price for my 3 shirts and left me wondering what would have happened if she wore a McCain button.
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Night Off

Decided to take the night off from reading chapters and APA papers. This is what that looks like.
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Voting

I have not moved in 20 minutes. The regular pace of moving through the line has stopped. Deciding to early vote was a choice, a selfish one, yet a choice. Just like my choice to bring a book and to leave my watch at home. Why selfish?? As a school board employee I have November 4th, election day, off from work. Since schools are closed teachers do not report to school; this day is even not considered a planning day. Well...the last thing I want to do on my day off is to stand in line. Which is why I am here with a few hundred of my closest friends. From Florida I just hope this vote is counted!
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Brrrrrrrrr

Enough already!! For the past two days the morning am temperatures have dipped into the 50's. I am so over with winter already, bring back my sun and warm temperatures.

What I have noticed due to the cold weather:
1) It takes an additional 15 minutes to crawl out of bed. The fear of leaving the comfort of my warm toasty comforter has me shaking.
2) It takes an additional 10 minutes in the shower to thaw out. I believe my hot water tank finally hit a new low.
3) It takes an additional 3 minutes to towel off. All traces of water must be dried up before exiting the comfort of my mock steam room.
4) I am wearing way too much clothing for living in the south (north of the equator). The pic is what I needed to wear for walking Stanlee this morning.
5) I am unable to read the morning news on my crackberry while walking. Stanlee. My hands are too busy staying warm in my pockets.
6) The coffee makers appears to be running a bit slower this morning. I should have known better and programmed my automaker to wake me up to a gallon of fresh brewed java.
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Great Pumpkin

This year there are far more Jacks out than last year. Actually the past few years. Did Publix have a BOGO free sale??? Who knows perhaps this is the year that he will rise out of the patch....
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Another casualty

Yesterday I learned that my barber would be closing shop for the last time the weekend before Thanksgiving. Independently owned and part of the neighborhood for as long as I can remember, Harry, the owner and my professional cutter, can no longer afford the rent. This barbershop has the same look and feel as the shop from where my dad took me as a child. The pumping of the chair being raised is one sound that boys/men will never forget. The gentleman who work there are beyond professional, for the results they produce with what little hair they have to work with, I would consider them magical.

What I will miss most about the barbershop:
1) Debates on who has the best pizza in town.
2) Updates on the (mis)adventures of the wives and girlfriends
3) Whose dog bit who this week
4) Miami Dolphin anything
5) Bitching about 3 year old Sports Illustrated still on the rack
6) The variety of music from Blues to Reggae to Classic Rock
7) The people

Halloween truths

Here are a few thoughts regarding our spooky night
1) There is a relationship between the quality of candy you purchase for halloween and how much is actually available to pass out.
2) If you open the bag before halloween you will eat more than you promised yourself (see #1).
3) Buying crappy candy is not right. Yes, there is crappy candy.
4) If you leave a candy filled bowl unattended by the front door expect the candy and bowl to disappear in 5 minutes.
5) If you decorate the outside of your house with halloween decorations, you must be home to pass out treats. It is okay to expect a few "tricks" is no one is home.
6) Don't hate the player, hate the game (see #4 & 5).
7) If you have halloween decorations inside and outside your home, they must be put away by midnight November 1.
8) Any left over candy must be brought to work. The only exception is chocolate anything- these are to be placed in the freezer for emergencies.
9) Regardless of what others tell you, dressing dead is okay. For ladies, dressing exotic is better and appreciated. Is it exotic or erotic- not sure anymore.
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Hole in my head

I am not sure why I even bother anymore. I have a friggin cavity!! WTF? Three and maybe four times a day I brush my teeth. It's the sonic vibrating toothbrush that has me hooked. Nothing like having something that sounds like an engine in your. mouth. I have even become obsessive with flossing. I floss at home, at work, and even in the car. Yeah, I really don't care who is watching.

Do you think I was surprised when I saw this pic? Its the black crater above. Even without this picture being enlarged 100x's it looks large enough to park my car there. Then I hear that cavities have a DNA connection. So I have now learned that: 1) it doesn't matter what you do, cavities will come & 2) I can thank my parents for this gift.
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Miracle

Perhaps it is the holiday season (if you're jewish you know what I mean) why I have been praying a lot this week. I am looking for an answer, for meaning in why does my bathroom get so dirty so quickly? No matter when I clean or what I use to clean, the dirt reappears faster than my 5 O`clock shadow. I have tried every product (and a few deadly combinations) available at Publix, Wal-Mart, and Target--No Luck, No Results. All they offer is a lick and a promise. Is there something extra funky happening here?
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My new best friend

I'm not sure if the process is the same with women but when I use a public bathroom with a hand dryer it kinda sorta goes like this:
1) Release fluids
2) Wash hands (lots of soap here)
3) Kick start hand dryer. Yep I use my shoe for this. Certainly not going to use my clean hands
4) Rub hands under cool breeze
5) Wipe hands on pants

This is pretty much the process with little variation. It's the last step that can be a problem. Depending on the type of pants you just might walk out of the bathroom with two hand prints on the bum. My new best friend is the hand dryer above. We met in the bathroom of McDonald in Naples. This machine blew me like a Category 5 hurricane. My hands were completely dry, moist free, and toasty warm. Dry pants too!! I now plan to drive to Naples each time I need to use a public bathroom.
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Brrrrrrrrrr

Tonite is the nite. The first glimpse of Fall. Low humidity & a cool constant breeze. I almost forget that I am in Florida. Borat sayz, "Nice"
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Waiting for ...

At 40 you find yourself in situations that were uncommon at 30 or even 35. As a birthday gift when I turned 40 I received the lifetime pass, the fast track badge, the yearly maintenance schedule for doctor visits. Now the doctor's office visit which at one time was reserved for only going when I was sick now is part of a big plan. I am not quite sure yet of the outcome...healthy life perhaps?

Anyway there are quite a few people here who need immediate care and I wonder why the doctors do not schedule days for the sick and different days for the folks for maintenance. I feel like I am taking someone's spot. I hope no one is in a hurry.
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Funky Monkey Martini

I have turned my favorite dessert into my new favorite "oh I am so glad to be home now it' time to relax and not think about the day" cocktail.

Remember having chocolate covered frozen bananas when you were younger? Who knew it was mom's way of getting us to eat over ripened fruit. Anyway I have mastered the liquid version, a Funky Monkey Martini,  get the paper and pen ready...

In an ice filled drink shaker (the metal one, think Bond- shaken not stirred) add 2 shots of freezer chilled vanilla vodka, 1 shot of banana schnapps, and 1 shot of chocolate martini mix. Shake, shake, shake, drain, drink, enjoy and repeat. Thank me later.
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Albertsons R.I.P.

Options of what to do, where to stop, while driving home after closing down a bar just became a little easier. For there is one less option, as of Saturday Albertsons of Plantation is gone. It has been a long goodbye, for months we have been waiting to hear of the final date. Once Publix bought out the South Florida locations the shock quite never left. The last days approached quickly with % markdowns. I must say I didn't feel one ounce of sorrow when I purchased a case of wine @ 25% off. Okay a little, but savings is savings.

When I heard late Friday nite that the day arrived I knew there would be one more visit. I didn't want to tell anyone, I needed to take this trip alone. At 7:30 am there were about 50 mourners filling their baskets. Some might call what was left "vulture pickins" but for most these were memories. I too grabbed a few memories and found myself roaming the empty aisles with a few others.

Albertsons was the first one stop shop (well at least in my area), the first with 10 for $10, and always open 24/7. I hear that change is good, I am not so sure on this one yet.
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Cheap toys

They don't make 'em like they used too!. Whew-- never thought I would say that. Over the years I have noticed the lack of the toy surprise in breakfast cereal. For those who do not know me, I am somewhat of a cereal freak. I currently have 6 different types opened and consumed daily. Sometimes for breakfast, at times dinner, or even dessert. And not one box has provided me with a toy.

Now the real surprise is when you actually get one. During a recent meeting I was genuinely excited when my friend tossed the small shrink wrapped package on the table. While the content was a mystery, I knew that this object was a door to the past. When we opened the package you could almost hear the air leaking out of our inflated balloon heads. As advertised on the box this toy has been inspired by the movie, The Dark Knight. WTF!!!!! When does a lame cheaply made flimsy plastic top (which hardly spins) have to do with Batman?? A JOKEr perhaps? After many failed tries we lost interest and my mind wandered to memories of better fun stuff. Well at least I believe it was better. Ill stick to my new toys.
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This is no Toxic Hell*

I am sooo full! This evening I took the challenge of meeting one grilled veggie burrito "enchilada style" at Zona Fresca. Even though I was prepared and quite hungry I lost the battle and could only eat half.

Honestly its hard to find a decent mexican 'rant that doesn't bloat you with sodium but these folks do it right. I do believe that besides being incredibly fresh the salsa bar is my main draw. Gee, this almost sounds like I was asked by the manager to sing their praises. Perhaps a good word for an small exchange. Well I'd never, nope not me!

*Another name for Taco Bell
BTW- by the time I finished writing this I managed to finish the monster. I win!! The VB never had a chance!
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Fay, we hardly met

I remember very little of hurricane activity when I was younger. I do have memories of Andrew in '92 and at that time I was fresh out of school and living with my parents. There has been a few scares while apartment living and even more brushes since owning my own place. Friends would gather for the last beer run being careful to buy drinks that can last at room temperature. While the beer run is still there we now start with the shutter questions. Should we? Shouldn't we? I chose as well as my friends not to put up any shutters. Good choice for now but who knows for a different storm.
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Craving

There is a time for the healthy air popped popcorn and then there is the time for Snacks...Old School Style. 'Nuff said : )
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Sign, sign, everywhere a sign

The "powers that be" of my condo association strongly believe in the power of the sign. Oh, I do too- I believe that this sign will promote door slamming every waking hour of the day. I find it hard to imagine that there are still folks out in this world who thinks a sign will change behavior. If that was the case, then bumper stickers and billboards would dictate most of the decisions that affect of lives. Perhaps I should be the crazy neighbor wearing a full body sign. You know those wit the "End is Near" front and back plates, but without the message of doom.

So let it be written, so let it be done.
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Feeling a bit Red

Have you ever caught yourself saying, "Damm, I never realized...!"? As I stand in front of the fridge this has been my mantra for the past 48 hours. Three days ago I decided to listen to my elder (that's what I am calling my mom today) and make an appointment for my yearly physical. This is not a new experience for me, I've been doing this for a while, and I was prepared for the lab visit to donate the common bodily fluids.

Okay so about now you might be asking what's the fridge connection...and this is where my word choice gets a bit selective. Let's just say that when you reach 40 the lab work includes liquids and solids. Get it?? And to make meals real interesting for the next 72 hours I am not allowed to eat anything red. Please don't ask why. No red sauce, no salsa, no red peppers, no crystal light, no cranberry juice, no strawberry honey bunches of oates, no pizza bites, no peaches (red skin), and no french fries (its a sin to eat without ketchup). All I want to say is, "Damm, I never realized how much red food I have!". Go ahead look in your fridge.
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Honey's Bar R.I.P.

It would be a quick assessment to blame the sluggish economy on the demise of my local neighborhood independently owned bar, however I will yield to Grissoms' advice (from C.S.I.) and just follow the evidence. ...Okay maybe not with evidence but I'll reach with speculation.

The tax on the square feet alone had the owner's leg already in the dirt from day 1. His lack of bar and restaurant experience had the other leg not far behind. Maybe the lights are permanently off since the staff was drafted from another local bar that closed under mysterious pretenses. It should come as no surprise when you draft from a losing team with a rookie coach. Perhaps is was the lack of identity. The walls still projected the failures from the previous two owners. The mix of mexican, all star sports, and Hollywood memorabilia never sat well.
I was always impressed with their 11 wide screen lcd sets all over the place, equally amazed when they were all turned to the same channel. Oh you should have been there when they had game shows on during the NBA playoffs. What a hoot!!!

The servers always tried their hardest with what little they had. I do believe any negative energy that they shared was a plea for change. Too bad it was not the change they were probably looking for.
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3 and 45

Staying up late and getting up early does not get better over time. This disproves the theory that practice makes perfect. Years ago my nights started at 11:00, now I am lucky if I have one eye open before the late edition news. Last night was a miracle for I was still up at 12:30 or maybe the miracle is that I answered the call of my alarm at 4:30 or I am managing to key this into my crackberry as I wobble down the street walking my dog avoiding the early morning drivers. Nope the miracle was actually finding the end to that run on sentence! I cannot even claim a full 4 hours sleep. The trip to the fridge for water and the eventual bathroom stole 15 minutes from my beauty sleep. What's really f'd up is that I still choose to start my day at this ridiculous hour even when all I have is 3 and 45 in my bank. Wish me luck...zzzzzzzzzzz
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Wrestling for all

Last week I realized how my oldest nephew and I are alike. With a 25+ year difference, we like the same shows- Go Figure! Growing up while my folks were watching Dallas, Falcon's Crest, and Dynasty, my soap opera of choice showcased body slams, sleeper holds, and figure four leg locks. This was and still is perfect entertainment for male teenagers. Every week I tuned into my favorite Pro Wrestling shows. Back then every Saturday morning there was Gordon Solie calling the moves at Florida Championship Wrestling and Monday night featured the best from the WWF in Madison Square Garden. Currently my nephew watches WWE wrestling every Friday and Monday night (when he is not grounded) while following with the latest 'raslin news online. I enjoy his text messages of who pinned who and occasionally recognize a name. The real kicker is that he can recite every match from opening bell to the final 1-2-3, too bad his science and spanish classes are taught without body slams.

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Dropping By

On the nite I decided to crash early, and that means bed before 11:00, I get a phone call from a few friends who greeted me on with a "We're coming over." Believe it or not but I actually protested their request. Twenty years ago my hesitation would have been replaced with sounds of Pomp and Circumstance (the "Macho Man" Savage version of course). I gave in and within 5 minutes the doorbell was singing. As much as I enjoyed their company (2 hours worth) all I could focus on was my alarm set to go off at 4:30. Well it's almost 24 hours later and I'm waiting for another phone call.
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A little trim

About once every few weeks I roleplay and fantasize that I need a haircut. Let's just say that I have become a firm believer that at times LESS IS MORE. I have also developed a fondness for the barber shop culture. Where else can one disappear for hours, have access to every sport magazine ever published, and hear dirt about the local crazies?
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Square Peg, Round Hole

This represents the constant struggle that I experience, try to avoid, and attempt to lean from on a daily basis. At times I am not sure what is best. Should I:
A) force the square peg into submission,
B) shave, sand, and lube the peg for a snug fit, or
C) toss it and find a better matching piece?

Besides, do you remember the "Square Pegs" tv show? Man, SJP was sooo much cuter as a geek! I'm afraid to ask if there was a "Round Hole" tv series.
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Summer might be over

This is my second day back from summer break and not a moment too soon. Now I can enjoy the rain from the comfort of my office and not worry about getting soaked. Sorry Stanlee, I love ya, but the afternoon walks were killing me.

Even on Day 2 we still enjoy getting together and sharing stories (even the not-so interesting ones). I feel that I almost had a real vacation.
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I don't melt

This is what I said to my friend when she surprisingly stated, "It's raining out." Granted I am the first to hurdle towards the bed and sink deeply into the darkness, so I am not sure why I was shocked by her comment. For some the world comes to a complete stop when it rains, other dance, and some sleep. Tonight I choose to do something different and head out for sushi.
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Oil in Florida

As if survival in a recession isn't enough to worry about these days, I now need to worry about surviving in my own backyard. Yet this does bring a glimmer of hope for the distant future with these present day dinosaurs. The debate of offshore oil drilling can finally come to a rest. The return of Godzilla should move off shore drilling to lake front a possibility. There is a future with Florida's version of Texas Tea.
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Signpost up ahead

Seeing this made my day. It appears that the potential solution brought on another potential problem. The condo board has placed these signs throughout my community hoping that the message will change behavior. It looks like it worked. You so know that some idiot will suggest placing additional signs to keep litter in the trash.
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I Rock!

Just who is the target audience for Guitar Hero (GH)? When else can a 40 year old shred a guitar, run around banging out chords, and sing "Sweet Emotion" all the while feeling like a Guitar God? It's a trick question since a) Joe Perry is 58 and Steve Tyler from Aerosmith is 60 and b) my nephew also spends his free time playing GH. Either he is quite mature for his age or I am refusing to let go. It doesn't matter since I am off for my world tour. ENCORE! ENCORE!
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Serenity Now

A few weeks ago I was introduced to Rescue Remedy by a friend who tried this stress reducing spray on her children (you can read her tale by visiting www.floridagirlinsydney.blogspot.com and search for it- quite a fun read). Since then my pocket rescue has not left my sight and at 27% alcohol it won't. I later leaned that my mom has been using this spray for her DOG - go figure - once again I am the last to know. Well the timing was perfect and a trial run was provided to my 12 year old puppy who is afraid of thunder and fireworks. After a few shots...oops I mean sprays he didn't freak out all nite. By the way our first AA meeting is Monday.
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Need 2 hurry

I left with Stan for a walk 20 minutes ago and since that time the dark clouds have rolled onto the area. This is being typed as I race back home to avoid the rain and more importantly the lightening. In case we don't make it, Mom, don't sell my comic book collection- give it to the nephews.
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Home-made Mmmmmmmm

With all of my extra time this summer in between writing papers, digging holes in the sand, and avoiding thunderstorms I have discovered the fun of pizza making. Whole Foods Market sells fresh whole wheat dough; a steal at $1.50 to make a 16" pie. Throwing the dough can be quite fun and I do recommend buying more than one. My first attempt landed on the floor with no chance of recovery and you can see that the second came out G.B.D.!! I'll never order out again, well...at least until the Fall.
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In Heat

This is Stanlee on a Saturday morning. The mean lookin' laser eyes indicates that he is tired of waiting for the air conditioner repairman. Yep, its already 85 degrees at 10 am. I hope he gets here soon, for his sake.
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Back in time

Yesterday can be officially classified as an anomaly. For the first time in a year I avoided my computer. While some actually celebrate this feat and others wonder if this will continue, I at this time can not confirm or deny any duplication. Quite honestly most of my day was spent staring at my ceiling. For I understand that while at 40 I aspire to behave like I am 21, my body is telling me a different story. Last nite, nope the nite before last was spent drinking and playing until 4 a.m.. Twenty-four hours later my body, mind, and spirit are once again aligned. Now just because I understand an outcome, will this keep me from its path?

The pic is a snapshot of my bedroom ceiling fan; just how I saw it- blurry.
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Location, location, location!

This is why I don't bitch too much about the amount of reading I have each semester. Wake me in a few....
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Summer Lovin'

The South Florida summer brings a few different elements into the daily lifestyle. Let's first address the adjustment to the 88% morning, afternoon, and evening humidity. Where else can you test the effectiveness of your deodorant while checking the mail? There have been days where 3 showers have been normal (clean is good) and this will be one of them..

Summer not only brings the heat but the daily rain, thunder, and monsoon storms (Yes, I know there is a relationship between heat and rain. Feel free to post your explanation in the comment section). Having a dog (with Kidney issues) only increases your awareness of when these storms approach. My timing was off for the first week of summer we were caught in 4 storms before we made it back home. I now rush to make it inside before another drop of water lands on my crackberry only to head for the shower.
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Back to School! Part Deux

I have committed to completing my masters degree meaning I have enrolled full time back at school. That actually means 4 papers every week for the next 40 weeks. Shoot me...please. Not sure why I returned, I hated school growing up. Maybe hate is too strong a word here (maybe I'm just a masochist); I just did not care to attend. School distracted me from learning. Now at 40, I just figured that I might as well get a degree for something I will probably do anyway (perhaps with less writing).

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Last Cup

The nagging...ooopps I mean concerns from my Mom regarding health and high blood pressure has gotten to me. This morning was my last cup of caffeine laced coffee. We had great times together, you will be missed and never forgotten. Sniff.
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